The rhythm between work and leisure

Finding the right rhythm between work, family and leisure is a challenge for the best of us and a need for all of us.

The disclaimer: I grew up in a Protestant Work Ethic house. If a job was worth doing it was worth doing well (i.e. to the best of ones ability). And, all jobs should be done completely and thoroughly … no if, buts or ands! This was my “jumping off” point for starting my ministry back in the dark ages of 1968.

The discovery: No matter how long I worked; no matter how hard I worked; no matter how the work was organized; no matter how much I used “time management” techniques; no matter how much I tried to delegate to other individuals and/or committees … I always went to bed with more left undone then I was able to accomplish. It was not a good feeling. Frustration was the overriding and dominating feeling. Besides, the very individuals who were most important in my life – my family – were paying the greatest price. I was the father who was always running to this meeting or to that group gathering. I was the spouse who always had time for others, but seldom for my wife.

The solution: It is here that I am most appreciative of the loving guidance of some kind, older and caring role models in ministry – Harold Buell, Scotty Bozeman, Al Hedberg, George Foster, Wallace Chappell – to mention just a few. From these gentle and committed colleagues I began to find my rhythm between work, family and leisure. Oh, I slipped off the wagon on more than one occasion, especially as the churches became larger and the issues became bigger and more demanding, but their loving guidance and not always so gentle touch (Al Hedberg actually bruised my leg once when he grasped it so hard in order to keep me in my seat at Annual Conference as I attempted to get up to speak) brought me back to reality.

One of their suggestions is that I take my little appointment book and write, in ink, a years worth of appointments for my wife, family and each of my children … and allow absolutely nothing to cause me to cancel those appointments – no weddings, funerals, rehearsals, committee meetings, hospital visits … absolutely nothing. When an individual and/or committee wanted a particular date I would look at my calendar and simply say, “I’m sorry I already have an appointment that evening.” It worked almost 100% of the time. I found it amazing that wedding parties could actually have a rehearsal at an earlier hour on Friday evening and in many cases, on Thursday evening, when I had family time scheduled for Friday evenings.

Was this selfish? Well, according to Dr. George Foster, “Hell, no! It is just setting your priorities correctly. The church, if you allow it, will literally consume you alive.” He spoke with authority at this point. You see, George had had a nervous breakdown because he loved the church so much. He hated to tell anyone no. As a speaker/preacher he was in constant demand. The church nearly killed one of its great servants. “Don’t let it happen to you,” he would share on more than one occasion.

As I write this I am reminded of pastors who take it to the other extreme. One pastor who followed me asked, “Do they expect me to be their personal chaplain?” I wasn’t sure what he meant until I heard that on his first Sunday he announced that he does not visit period – not in hospitals, nursing homes or door-to-door. He didn’t last long at the church! Another pastor plays golf several times during the week (actually more than one ministers does this), while another colleague likes to fish and he does it rather regularly and very often. The one thing that I have heard many times since retiring is, “Our pastor doesn't seem to work very hard. He/she is always off playing golf, fishing, or taking a cruise.” And, “I doubt that he/she even works 30 hours a week any longer.” Finding your rhythm is one thing, being lazy is an issue of another color.

It matters not what profession to which an individual has committed themselves to – doctor, lawyer, Indian chief – the bottom line is to find the rhythm that works for you and your family commitments and then stick to it come “hell or high water”. After all, you are the only you that you have. God didn’t make a second “you” and the work to which God has called you to do really cannot be fulfilled by anyone else … that is why He picked you to fulfill it. But, do it with a high sense of commitment and integrity.

Quote for today: "The hardest thing about milking cows," observed a farmer, " is that they never stay milked." Bits & Pieces