How I became a Christian and my calling to ministry

During Share Group last night I was reminded, once again, why I started to write this daily blog. Primarily, I started because of the prompting from my daughters to put into writing my thoughts and experiences. And then, grandchildren came along. I am trying to be as healthy as I can possibly be so that I can be involved in their lives as long as I can possibly be … still there will come a time in their lives that I will no longer be around. It is my hope that these “burnt offerings” will be a part of their written history as to who I was and what “floated-my-boat” so to speak.

Today’s story is how I became a Christian and ultimately ended up in becoming an United Methodist Clergy.

Growing up in Miami was an interesting experience in and of itself, but then a neighbor interjected herself into my life by asking my mother if she could take me, along with her daughter, to church and Sunday school. So, as an elementary aged young man, I was introduced to the church thanks to the interest and caring of someone outside of my family. This pattern would continue for the rest of my life. Through my participation in the activities of Allapattah Methodist Church my mother and father also started to get involved in the life of the church. What I found at church was acceptance and approval – something that was kind of rare in my household. I loved it! I could be me!

Summer camp at the Leesburg Youth Camp started to become a part of my life shortly there after. During the last evening of camp they handed out commitment cards and you kind of checked off the little boxes like everybody else did … you really didn’t want to be too different. That next Lenten season I was tapped on the shoulder during the beginning of Sunday school and Reba Smith, our Educational Assistant, said, “The pastor wants to see you in his office.” Ouch, that is like having to go to the principal’s office. So off I went and as I entered his office there sat many children who I didn’t know or recognize. The Rev. Waldo Farabee said, “Jimmy, sit down.” Then he began to talk and flip pages on a flipchart. The last thing he said was, “Be back here next week.” I wasn’t really sure why I had to be there nor did I understand what he was saying nor appreciate the flipchart stuff, but if he said that I had to be back there next Sunday who was I to question the pastor. What I was experiencing, without really knowing it, was Confirmation Class.

The next thing I knew, about 6 weeks later, was that he had me joining the church. That Palm Sunday I was sicker than I usually was and my mother insisted that I couldn’t go to church, but “the pastor said I had to be there” I argued. She gave in, I was confirmed and the promptly left the sanctuary and threw-up. Did I understand what I was doing? No. Did I understand the impact it was going to have on my life? Absolutely not! But, this one thing I did understand, church was my home. Here they affirmed me, accepted me, approved me, loved me … like nowhere else and like nobody else in my life. I had found an emotional home. The added plus was Summer Camp – an escape.

During those camping experience I began to be introduced to the idea that a person could actually work for the church in some capacity. Wow! Not only had I found a home to call my own, but now came the idea that I could actually work for the church and experience this full time … so, why not. When it came time for those end-of-the-camp commitment cards there was that little box that I was looking for “Interested in talking with someone about becoming a minister or missionary.” I checked it and the next thing that I remembered was that I was summoned to the pastor’s office again. This time it was The Rev. A. A. Koestline (Uncle Al he wanted us to call him). He talked with me about entering the ministry and gave me opportunities to speak at Sunday evening services. I was hooked. So off to school I went to become a preacher. It was just a natural sequence of events. It was still more about the church being my emotional home than it was about a relationship with Jesus Christ, but that would soon change.

It was during Dr. Ted Runyon’s, “Introduction to Theology 101 and 102” classes that the change began to take place. He spoke of “the call” to ministry and “the calling” of ministry. For me he hit the nail on the head. I don’t remember the actual words he used but they went something like this: “All of you have ended up here at seminary through various influences and because of various needs – some emotional and some spiritual. It might have been because of the influence of your parents or grandparents, a favorite Sunday school teacher or pastor, or because of an experience or two, but some how you discovered that your future was to be in ministry of some kind. That was your call. Was it from God? Well, maybe or maybe not … God uses the circumstances of our lives to help us understand our journey. The challenge over the next two semesters is to see if your ‘call’ can change into a ‘calling’ because if you simply go forth from this place with a ‘call’ you will not last very long, but if it is a ‘calling’ then your experience will be both meaningful and fruitful. A ‘calling’ is a continuous summons to be about the work of the Kingdom. A ‘call’ is just an emotional response to certain stimuli at a particular moment in time.” My call did become a calling and my journey continued.

I loved the church, maybe too much. There was a district superintendent who actually said that to me while serving First Church, Hudson. Dr. Hamilton said, “Jim you love the church too much. You need to accept the fact that the churches you serve will not be fully committed to the Kingdom. Your one major fault is that you are constantly thinking and thus, you are leagues ahead of where your people are. Just stop and allow them to eventually catch up.” I never really changed … there was an urgency about my ministry that I never fully understood. Further, because of the emotional needs from my childhood to constantly try to please my parents I attempted to do everything myself.

This finally all caught up with me forcing me to make the most difficult decision of my life … to retire early from the one thing that I dearly loved to do in this life … to preach and teach about the Kingdom of God and a vital, living relationship with Jesus Christ. The reality is that God was actually saving me because, as others have testified, if I had stayed in the ministry full time I would have been dead by now because of the stress level of ministry. I still pray daily that God will continue to open doors for ministry, as well as provide opportunities to preach and teach. Why? Because the “calling” is still there and probably will be until the day comes for me to “shuffle off this mortal coil”.

Quote for today: You enter the ministry only if you lose the battle to stay out and you stay in the ministry only if you lose the battle to get out. William Sloane Coffin