On friendship

In Vanishing Acts, Jodi Picoult writes, “It is also a terrifying prospect: that the relationships we use as the cornerstones of our personalities are not given by default but are a choice; that it’s all right to feel closer to a friend than we do to a parent; that someone who’s betrayed us in the past might be the same person with whom we build a future.”

We make choices everyday about those who will be or will not be our friends. Sometimes it depends on how we define the concept of friends. Normally, over the course of a lifetime, we will have numerous individuals that in the truest sense of the word are more acquaintances than real friends. Oh, we use the word “friends” to define the relationship, but are they really? It depends on your definition, as well as your expectations in the relationship.

Some are happy to have their “friends” be individuals that they have more of a casual connection – we see them sometime at church, talk to them occasionally during the month or so, send a Christmas card greeting to and might share a gift on occasion, but anything deeper is seldom approached. And then there are others that there won’t be any contact for a long period of time, but when you do get together you simply pick up where you left off … as if you have never been apart.

How would you define friendship? The definition will define what you are looking for in developing a relationship with others. That definition will dictate what you “bring to the table”.

Social networking is the new “buzz” concept of our modern life. I do participate in Facebook, but that is about it. It probably shows my age, but the other networking processes are not of an interest to me. What I find interesting is that people list all of their Facebook connections as “friends,” as well as those on their Twitter list. Maybe that can be true, but I am rather doubtful. At least in my mind it takes more than a “commenting” on someone’s Facebook account to be a friend. This whole BFF thing is a curious thing. Probably more of a catch phrase than anything else that will pass away as we move in newer directions with our “social networking” advancements.

Growing up I had one true friend. I’ve written about Donny Hall previous. He knew me … I mean really knew me. Some things he liked, but there was much that he didn’t like and yet, there he was standing in my corner when I needed him most during those years. Then time passed, we moved on and the friendship ended. I am keenly aware that those kind of individuals are rare, truly rare, and should be enjoyed while they last. Since Donny, I really haven’t had that level of friendship in any other relationship apart from my spouse. Oh, I keep looking, hoping that with everyone who enters my life that they just might end up being a true friend. I keep looking and maybe someday he or she will appear so that we can build a future!

Quote for today: By friendship you mean the greatest love, the greatest usefulness, the most open communication, the noblest sufferings, the severest truth, the heartiest counsel, and the greatest union of minds of which brave men and women are capable. Jeremy Taylor