Reflections on the struggle not to judge others regardless of their tattoos or body piercings

Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults - unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging – Matthew 7:1-2 (The Message)

Herein lies my biggest struggle – judging others based on surface appearances - always has, but I’m working on it. In times past it involved guys with long hair – usually in need of a good shampooing. But, today it involves multiple body piercings on males and females and tattoos primarily on women. I don’t understand why an individual would want to disfigure (my opinion) themselves in such a way … and I struggle with it almost every time I come in contact with someone who has had it done. I’m not proud of this tendency, but do acknowledge that it exists.

Sometime ago I worked with a woman who was young enough to be my daughter. I kind of treated her like one of my “other” daughters and she appreciated the “fatherly” concern and counsel (most of the time). Her uncle and I were friends from church. She had a number of tattoos that led to multiple conversations concerning what she was doing and why. Most of them had deep meaning for her like the one that memorialized a dear motorcycle friend who had lost his life in a horrible accident.

One day she had to bend over to pick something off the floor. She was standing right in front of me when she did it … and there stretched across her lower back was this large tattoo. It was a new one. “Okay,” I asked, “tell me about this new one.” She turned, somewhat embarrassed and said, “Oh, that … I meant to tell you about this new one earlier.” “Well,” I waited. “It just makes me feel beautiful,” she shared. She saw my eyebrows raise, we’ve been down this road before, and continued, “I know what you are thinking and you are right. I am beautiful without it. I believe that, but I don’t know it just seemed right to enhance my beauty.” We looked at each other for a long time, shared a hug and went back to work.

I still don’t understand this growing trend to ink ones body. I do have to admit that there are those with multiple tattoos that have really thought through the process and have artfully placed them around their bodies, while others are just an ugly hodgepodge of misplaced inkings. Either way I don’t understand it nor appreciate the thought behind it.

My continued prayer is – help me to see these individuals as Jesus sees them. Open my eyes to their inner being. Let not the outward appearance stand in the way of getting to really know the person inside.

There was a large African-American male who worked at the food court at the local mall in Jacksonville. Nearly every time I bought food at his location he was my server. And, I’ll strike up a conversation with anyone at any time. So, over time he began to recognize me. After more than a year I finally asked about his earrings – a growing number of earrings on his left ear. At last count there were 23 earrings circling his entire ear. He laughed at my question and said that he was running out of room and will be forced to start the collection on the other ear. He was a proud father of three beautiful teenage girls who excelled at academics and in sports. He went on to tell me that every time that they achieved something outstanding he would get another piercing to remind him of their achievements. “So you, see, every time I look in the mirror and see all these earrings I am reminded of my girls and I am so proud of who they are and what they are becoming.”

Well, I guess there is a story behind every piercing and every tattoo … and I will just have to continue to struggle not to judge them, but to see them as God sees them because regardless of what we do to our bodies we are still all God’s children.

Quote for today: We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others by their acts. ~Harold Nicolson