Spiritual journeys are interesting. They take on a life of their own. They are somewhat like the cars that are being advertised now that park themselves. You push a button and take your hands off the wheel and the car does the rest. When we place ourselves into the hands of God and stop trying to control the outcome things happen. So it is with my life.
I don’t know why I am amazed by all of this, but I am. In retrospect I look back to 2007. For the previous five years I had been serving as part-time interim pastor to a congregational church. There were a few leaders who desired above all common sense that they wanted to move to a full timer and one from their own denomination. It was not a wise move because of no other reason than the money just wasn’t there to support this effort. I was willing to continue, but that wasn’t in the cards and so, a vote was taken, a new pastor was hired and I moved on. Actually, in celebration of this change and turning 65 I fulfilled one of my bucket list wishes by skydiving. Oh, what a thrill … not all changes are thrilling, but all of them I believe are God created.
Was the hand of God at work here? We began our transition to Bradenton even though we loved our home in DeLand. It wasn’t the best time to move, the DeLand home was nearly paid off, the financial market was moving in the wrong direction and the housing bubble was about to bust. The move was made, we settled in, have rented out the DeLand home wanting for the market to return and began to search for a new church to call home.
A new pastor had come to Trinity, a friend of some years who needed some help. I jumped in with both feet. Before I knew what was happening the volunteer hours were starting to mount up … 10 then 15 then 20 hours per week. Yet, in the back of my mind there was an uneasy tension. Is this really what God wants me to do? Oh, the church was appreciative, but the uneasiness continued to build. A well-timed vacation, that took us out west for about 4plus weeks, allowed some quiet time of reflection. What I was doing for the church a layperson could do and should be doing. A strong feeling over took me … back away and wait. Prepare. I hate waiting … it takes so long!
The growing feeling of unrest continued to grow. Couldn’t put my finger on why, but it just continued to gnaw away at my spirit. I needed to be in a mindset and position for God to use me. I continued to visit in the hospital for the church, but not much of that anymore. A surgery, a couple of other short stays in the hospitals and demands of rehab really slowed me down, caused me to have a lot of quiet time and really pull away from the volunteer visitation position with some grace.
The prayer continued … here I am Lord use me. Then an email arrived followed by a phone call from the pastor. There was a church in need of a part-time pastor and he was recommending me for the position. Here I am Lord use me. Contact with the District Superintendent and before I knew all of the details I had an assignment.
The devotional material for the last several weeks (shared via this blog) had me looking at the Good Shepherd, being a True Disciple and making my home in the Word of God. Be careful what you pray for because God just might start taking you seriously. So now at the age of 68 I take up the responsibility of pastoring another flock, of breaking the Bread of Life for another gathering of Saints, of looking after the spiritual and emotional needs of fellow travelers on this spiritual journey.
Help me to remember that the car parks itself … as long as I take my hands off the wheel. It is not about me, I am not in charge and it is not about what I might wish, desire, want … it is about God and his Kingdom. Yes, I need to run this race. There is a fire burning in my spirit that will not be quenched for if I try to put it out it will truly consume me. As John Wesley shared, “God set me on fire and people from all over England come to see me burn.” May it be so for those in Palmetto and Bradenton and Parrish … may I burn brightly for the Lord!
Quote for today: After three years of ministry, hundreds of miles, thousands of miracles, innumerable teachings, Jesus asks who. Jesus bids the people to ponder not what he has done but who he is. It’s the ultimate question of the Christ: Whose son is he? ~Max Lucado
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