Well, it is summer – heat and humidity has come in with all of its force. With summer, comes the inevitable pastoral changes across the nation. Why? Because the children are out of school and it is simply easier on the families.
Some churches requested and desired a change in pastoral leadership. Some pastors requested a change because they felt that their work was completed or they simply wanted a new challenge. Some simply moved because that is what they do … they move often.
What isn’t inevitable to all involved is the matching of the DNA of a church to the spiritual DNA of the new pastor and vise-versa. Discovering the DNA of any particular church is rather difficult and quite challenging, as is the understanding of the DNA of any particular pastor.
A couple of examples:
As I was assigned to one particular church in south Florida I discovered that one of my colleagues had grown up at the church and entered the ministry out of its youth group. When I asked him for his best advice he shared, “They ought to take a bulldozer to it and start all over. The long serving and nationally recognized founding pastor had established the DNA of that congregation as a glorified country social club.”
Another church, at the other end of the state – a church to which I will be returning as a part of their 50th Anniversary in a couple of weeks – I was having a hard time understanding the particular uniqueness and challenges in this congregation until we celebrated the 25th Anniversary and invited back the founding pastor. During the Saturday evening dinner this pastor stated, “I knew that this would be a strong church because we never made a decision without a good fight!” BINGO … that was their DNA.
Some church’s DNA can change if the appointed or called pastor can stay there long enough to bring it about. As a present United Methodist bishop once shared with me, “It normally takes 7 to 8 years before the pastor can bring about any lasting DNA changes within the congregation. Unfortunately, the average length of pastoral appointments is just not long enough to make it happen.”
The other factor involved in a good, lasting relationship between a church and its pastor is the spiritual DNA of the pastor … especially if the pastor has had an effective pastorate at their previous assignment. He or she will come into their new situation and simply try to pick up where they left off. It takes spiritual discernment to start where their new congregation is and grow from there. A wise word from Bishop Nolan Harmon, who taught my church administration course in seminary, was, “Start every new assignment as if it is your first pastorate. Do not bring any baggage – good or bad – from your previous church. It will only end up hurting you in the long run.” Unfortunately for me I didn’t take his wisdom to heart and ended up paying the ultimate price.
And so the process begins again for any number of pastors and congregations. I wish them all well. Some will be successful while others will be a total disaster. And … some how in all of this mess … God’s will still gets done. At least let that be our prayer!
Quote for today: a poem from an unknown source
There is a pastor, himself he cherished,
Who loved his position not his parish
So the more he preached
The less he reached
And this is why his parish perished.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Disappointment and Hope
Disappointment comes into everyone’s life, even when there was great hope. In the face of the inevitable what happens to hope? Well, you can continue to hope or simply give up and say it just isn’t worth holding onto hope … what’s the use … you are just setting yourself for another disappointment … and so you surrender to a hopeless mind-set becoming defeated even before you try.
Just what is hope? Hope is Dr. Claude Thompson, dying of cancer, teaching the course, “Theology of Hope” to standing room only (actually he died before the end of the term). Hope is the birth of every child. Hope is believing in the unborn child that she was going to be something real special even after the doctors said that the child will be severely retarded (she turned out to be brilliant with an I.Q. off the charts). Hope is waking up every morning with great anticipation that today is going to be different. Hope is believing that the doctor’s do not, will not have the last word on your health situation. Hope is believing that resurrection is possible when the world is dark and death has been declared.
Where do you find hope? When all odds seem to be staked against you and your life’s situation there is something buried deep within your soul … the seed of hope because "hope springs eternal". Never give up hope as long as God has the last word.
There is an old sermon story on discouragement: A man approached a little league baseball game one afternoon. He asked a boy in the dugout what the score was. The boy responded, "Eighteen to nothing--we're behind." "Boy," said the spectator, "I'll bet you're discouraged." "Why should I be discouraged?" replied the little boy. "We haven't even gotten up to bat yet!"
Or, my favorite, is the story of a girl who was praying for a horse – day-after-day – and then one day discovered a rather large pile of manure in the yard. She began to frantically dig into the pile of manure with her bare hands stating, with great enthusiasm, “With this much manure there has got to be a horse in here some place!”
The “manure” of life can take the "wind out of our sails", as they say, we simply get tired of the smell, the dirt, the feeling “what’s the use,” and the attitude of a tired spirit. Disappointment can set in before we even give hope a real chance. When we give up on hope we are really giving up on God. We are saying that in my situation nothing is possible – regardless that the Bible states that with God everything is possible. But, do we really believe that – that with God everything … EVERYTHING … is possible? If we believe it then how should it change our life? our attitude? our behavior? our way of relating to the others in our life?
It is either allowing hope to work its grace filled miracle in our hearts or allowing disappointment to win. It really is up to us … isn’t it?
Quote for today: There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them. Clare Boothe Luce.
Just what is hope? Hope is Dr. Claude Thompson, dying of cancer, teaching the course, “Theology of Hope” to standing room only (actually he died before the end of the term). Hope is the birth of every child. Hope is believing in the unborn child that she was going to be something real special even after the doctors said that the child will be severely retarded (she turned out to be brilliant with an I.Q. off the charts). Hope is waking up every morning with great anticipation that today is going to be different. Hope is believing that the doctor’s do not, will not have the last word on your health situation. Hope is believing that resurrection is possible when the world is dark and death has been declared.
Where do you find hope? When all odds seem to be staked against you and your life’s situation there is something buried deep within your soul … the seed of hope because "hope springs eternal". Never give up hope as long as God has the last word.
There is an old sermon story on discouragement: A man approached a little league baseball game one afternoon. He asked a boy in the dugout what the score was. The boy responded, "Eighteen to nothing--we're behind." "Boy," said the spectator, "I'll bet you're discouraged." "Why should I be discouraged?" replied the little boy. "We haven't even gotten up to bat yet!"
Or, my favorite, is the story of a girl who was praying for a horse – day-after-day – and then one day discovered a rather large pile of manure in the yard. She began to frantically dig into the pile of manure with her bare hands stating, with great enthusiasm, “With this much manure there has got to be a horse in here some place!”
The “manure” of life can take the "wind out of our sails", as they say, we simply get tired of the smell, the dirt, the feeling “what’s the use,” and the attitude of a tired spirit. Disappointment can set in before we even give hope a real chance. When we give up on hope we are really giving up on God. We are saying that in my situation nothing is possible – regardless that the Bible states that with God everything is possible. But, do we really believe that – that with God everything … EVERYTHING … is possible? If we believe it then how should it change our life? our attitude? our behavior? our way of relating to the others in our life?
It is either allowing hope to work its grace filled miracle in our hearts or allowing disappointment to win. It really is up to us … isn’t it?
Quote for today: There are no hopeless situations; there are only people who have grown hopeless about them. Clare Boothe Luce.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Education and the 4-day school week!
Listening to CNN’s Headline News yesterday afternoon there was an item for which they were soliciting listeners comments. When I heard what was to be discussed I sat up in my chair and said, “W – H – A – T!!!!” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. The topic for discussion: “Should the school week be shortened to 4 days in order to save money?” Evidently a sufficient number of school districts are considering this drastic move to warrant a general discussion of the subject matter HLN.
I will be interested in your comments, but first here are my thoughts.
Why would we be shortening our school days when we are already running drastically behind other countries in the level of academic achievement from our students? Wouldn’t a shorter school week simply cause us to fall further behind?
Several countries, as well as private schools in this country run a 6-day school week and are making huge advances in the student’s abilities. Wouldn’t it be wiser to length the week instead of making it shorter? Are we really willing to sacrifice the education of our young men and women in order to save a dollar or two?
We seem to be always experimenting with our school systems and what do we have to show for it?
While going to school in Nashville one of the “sister” campuses was George Peabody College for Teachers (now a part of Vanderbilt University). George Peabody had an experimental school where new and different approaches to education were tried out to see if they really work. Those of us, in the college community, were aware of some of the experiments that were tried and proven to be ineffective. To my great surprise, after I graduated from college and then seminary returning to Florida with a young son and daughter about to enter the school system in Miami, to discover that the Miami School System was implementing some of the very things that George Peabody Experimental School had tried and found wanting.
Don’t we ever learn? … evidently not, because here comes around the 4-day school week discussion all over again - some educators and parents are for it, some are not. And in the balance our children become guinea pigs and are the ultimate losers. Let’s hope that the almighty dollar doesn’t win out at the detriment of the most precious resource we are privileged to handle through life … the lives and minds of our children!
Quote for today: Bok's Law: If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
I will be interested in your comments, but first here are my thoughts.
Why would we be shortening our school days when we are already running drastically behind other countries in the level of academic achievement from our students? Wouldn’t a shorter school week simply cause us to fall further behind?
Several countries, as well as private schools in this country run a 6-day school week and are making huge advances in the student’s abilities. Wouldn’t it be wiser to length the week instead of making it shorter? Are we really willing to sacrifice the education of our young men and women in order to save a dollar or two?
We seem to be always experimenting with our school systems and what do we have to show for it?
While going to school in Nashville one of the “sister” campuses was George Peabody College for Teachers (now a part of Vanderbilt University). George Peabody had an experimental school where new and different approaches to education were tried out to see if they really work. Those of us, in the college community, were aware of some of the experiments that were tried and proven to be ineffective. To my great surprise, after I graduated from college and then seminary returning to Florida with a young son and daughter about to enter the school system in Miami, to discover that the Miami School System was implementing some of the very things that George Peabody Experimental School had tried and found wanting.
Don’t we ever learn? … evidently not, because here comes around the 4-day school week discussion all over again - some educators and parents are for it, some are not. And in the balance our children become guinea pigs and are the ultimate losers. Let’s hope that the almighty dollar doesn’t win out at the detriment of the most precious resource we are privileged to handle through life … the lives and minds of our children!
Quote for today: Bok's Law: If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Some good one-liners
We’ve all seen them at some point over the course of our lives … those catchy one-liners. Until the other day I never really gave most of them much thought as to how they specifically apply to me and my life. But, when I took the time I made the painful discovery that they nearly all hit directly at the heart of my personality and its quirks … sometimes they were encouraging, sometimes made me a little uncomfortable, sometimes they just caused me to think long and hard. It reminded of a series of sermons I preached at one of my churches. Afterwards, one of the leaders came out, complimented me on the sermon and in passing, said, “You really gave it to ‘them’ preacher!” My reply was simple, “I thought I was preaching to everyone this morning not to just a few.”
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.
God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given .
Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers.
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, middle of the road, and back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on the front door forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has.
We're called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges.
God Himself doesn't propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?
Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members singing 'Standing on the Promises' are just sitting on the premises.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch 'em - He'll clean 'em.
Stop, Drop, and Roll won't work in Hell.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, But probably prefers 'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Co-pilot, swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions, just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God never takes you to where the Grace of God will not protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given .
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Questions?
Ann Spivack, in Reader’s Digest, tells this personal story: While our friends from India traveled around California on business, they left their 11 year-old daughter with us. Curious about my going to church one Sunday morning, she decided to come along. When we returned home, my husband asked her what she thought of the service.
"I don't understand why the West Coast isn't included too," she replied. When we inquired what she meant, she added, "You know, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the whole East Coast."
And so we, as adults, try to understand what the child from India could not comprehend namely the Trinity. Father, Son, Holy Ghost – Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer – Three persons in one and yet not three gods … Trinity, an explanation for the unexplainable God. Attempts usually included fail attempts that share about the various “functions” of the Universal Power Source called God. The end result in all of our attempts is simply to reduce God to our size – a deity that we can carry around in our pocket as a personal lucky charm, so to speak.
There are some questions that haunt every pastor that has stood in the pulpit. Questions such as, “What is the meaning of the Book of Revelation?” “Just what is the unpardonable sin?” “If God is good then why does he permit evil?” “Why are some people healed after prayer and others are not?” and “Can you explain the Trinity?” They are tough questions for which there are not any simple answers … and the assumption is that pastors are not suppose to struggle with these issues, but rather have all the answers.
Well, we don’t … or at least I don’t. These are the very questions which confronts you, confronts me. The larger assumption, which was the prevailing mind-set when I was in seminary, was … never, ever bring your struggles and doubts to the pulpit. Thank goodness that in many areas of the country that is beginning to change. Pastors are just fellow strugglers on the journey of faith. “Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.”
Or, as an old Scottish Presbyterian preacher once shared his definition of faith in an acrostic: F – forsaking; A – all; I – I; T – trust; H – Him … Faith is in truth forsaking all and trusting in God … not out of knowledge, but out of not knowing. Ask a young child why he or she is willing to jump off a high ledge into his/her daddy’s arms they would not be able to explain it other than, “Because his my dad!” End of story … it doesn’t need an explanation because no explanation will work. Just because … period.
Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! The longer I live the more questions and few answers I have. Maybe it really does boil down to simply having faith – faith is the ability to ask questions in the face of unanswerable questions.
Quote for today: A friend once asked Isidor I. Rabi, a Nobel prize winner in science, how he became a scientist. Rabi replied that every day after school his mother would talk to him about his school day. She wasn't so much interested in what he had learned that day, but she always inquired, "Did you ask a good question today?" "Asking good questions," Rabi said, "made me become a scientist." Source Unknown
"I don't understand why the West Coast isn't included too," she replied. When we inquired what she meant, she added, "You know, in the name of the Father, the Son, and the whole East Coast."
And so we, as adults, try to understand what the child from India could not comprehend namely the Trinity. Father, Son, Holy Ghost – Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer – Three persons in one and yet not three gods … Trinity, an explanation for the unexplainable God. Attempts usually included fail attempts that share about the various “functions” of the Universal Power Source called God. The end result in all of our attempts is simply to reduce God to our size – a deity that we can carry around in our pocket as a personal lucky charm, so to speak.
There are some questions that haunt every pastor that has stood in the pulpit. Questions such as, “What is the meaning of the Book of Revelation?” “Just what is the unpardonable sin?” “If God is good then why does he permit evil?” “Why are some people healed after prayer and others are not?” and “Can you explain the Trinity?” They are tough questions for which there are not any simple answers … and the assumption is that pastors are not suppose to struggle with these issues, but rather have all the answers.
Well, we don’t … or at least I don’t. These are the very questions which confronts you, confronts me. The larger assumption, which was the prevailing mind-set when I was in seminary, was … never, ever bring your struggles and doubts to the pulpit. Thank goodness that in many areas of the country that is beginning to change. Pastors are just fellow strugglers on the journey of faith. “Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief.”
Or, as an old Scottish Presbyterian preacher once shared his definition of faith in an acrostic: F – forsaking; A – all; I – I; T – trust; H – Him … Faith is in truth forsaking all and trusting in God … not out of knowledge, but out of not knowing. Ask a young child why he or she is willing to jump off a high ledge into his/her daddy’s arms they would not be able to explain it other than, “Because his my dad!” End of story … it doesn’t need an explanation because no explanation will work. Just because … period.
Well, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it! The longer I live the more questions and few answers I have. Maybe it really does boil down to simply having faith – faith is the ability to ask questions in the face of unanswerable questions.
Quote for today: A friend once asked Isidor I. Rabi, a Nobel prize winner in science, how he became a scientist. Rabi replied that every day after school his mother would talk to him about his school day. She wasn't so much interested in what he had learned that day, but she always inquired, "Did you ask a good question today?" "Asking good questions," Rabi said, "made me become a scientist." Source Unknown
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Forwarded e-mails and personal integrity
Over the last many years there has been a major collision in my soul between a life centered around scripture and the role that e-mail plays in staying connected with friends and family.
First part causing this collision is the instructions from scripture about loving our enemies – which has come to mean, in our present political and social culture, as anyone different than us … politically, socially, economically, culturally – along with that portion of the 10 Commandments which directs us not to bear false witness.
Secondly, are the ever growing number of “forwarded” e-mails beyond the jokes and the funny stories, as well as number of inspirational messages that are continually being shared. Maybe it is just me, but I think I know what eternal life is all about. Just place yourself into a forwarded e-mail and you will live forever … as a number of messages continue to pop-up in my in box bear testimony to that reality.
During a presidential campaign e-mails started to become mean spirited … passing on half-truths, out-n-out lies and complete myths … i.e. bearing false witness. But, the subject matter is not limited to those holding or running for political office as testified by an e-mail yesterday that accused the United Kingdom of banning the teaching of the Holocaust in its schools. A simple check with snopes.com (or any other internet site committed to discovering the truths behind urban legends) would have quickly given the sender enough information to prove that this particular e-mail was not accurate. The first clue should have been the subject line which read, “I hope that this isn’t true …” It would have taken the sender less time to discover the truth behind the message than it did for him to send it.
Some times the message is a good one such as a recent prayer for our nation. But along the way somebody felt that the prayer would have more appeal if it was attributed to Billy Graham or Paul Harvey or a few other noted individuals. With the internet we can add or delete any information we want without having to take credit for it. The bottom line is that this is simply wrong.
My approach is usually to check out the facts of any message and share what I have found with the sender. The other approach that I have taken is that if “those” kind of tainted e-mails continue I share my witness of not desiring to bear false witness against another and request that they honor my wishes and not forward any more e-mails of that kind. I want to stay in contact with my friends and family, but I have no desire to read the latest internet gossip.
As one relative, who continues to send me political urban legends even after I have made numerous requests for him not to send any more, stated that he is going to continue sending them – even when I told him that his e-mail address has been tagged so that his stuff goes directly to the delete files – until “I see the light of my errors in my political thinking.” (Check my May 1, 2010 blog titled: “Is Liberal a Vulgar Word?”)
We can begin to hind behind the ease with which e-mails can be created, sent and believed thus resulting in an overall fear creating a modern day witch hunt that will make Salem look like a walk in the park. Just look at the hysteria surrounding the issues raised by the so called “birthers” who do not believe that President Obama was born in the United States. This hysteria is being fueled by e-mails that simple have taken on a life of their own. We live in a free country and thus, everyone has the privilege to believe whatever they wish to believe, but at what point do we stand-up and say, “No more! Stop the madness which is creating the fear that some enemy is poised at our borders ready to destroy us tomorrow.”
We can chose to live in fear or we can chose to live in hope. The choice is ours. Either God is in charge or he isn’t. While I do not want to be naïve, on the other hand I do not wish to live in fear … because if I have to live in fear than what ever enemy might be out there has already won. How many surrenders have taken place in the heat of battle because the soldiers and those in charge were over taken by fear?
Maybe the time has arrived for us to request only personal information be sent via e-mail. No more forwarded message – regardless how cute, clever, inspiring, meaningful the e-mail might be. I joined facebook to stay connected with my family and friends, not to build a “family tree” or play “Farmville” or rate somebody or something or to express my opinion on a political issue via a “yes” or “no” …
What do you think? Do you pass on the majority of the e-mails that you receive? Do you take the time to investigate via snopes.com to see if the facts are correct? Do you even care, especially when the e-mail enforces or supports your political and/or cultural bias? What part does personal integrity play in this whole concept?
Quote for today: So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. Will Rogers.
First part causing this collision is the instructions from scripture about loving our enemies – which has come to mean, in our present political and social culture, as anyone different than us … politically, socially, economically, culturally – along with that portion of the 10 Commandments which directs us not to bear false witness.
Secondly, are the ever growing number of “forwarded” e-mails beyond the jokes and the funny stories, as well as number of inspirational messages that are continually being shared. Maybe it is just me, but I think I know what eternal life is all about. Just place yourself into a forwarded e-mail and you will live forever … as a number of messages continue to pop-up in my in box bear testimony to that reality.
During a presidential campaign e-mails started to become mean spirited … passing on half-truths, out-n-out lies and complete myths … i.e. bearing false witness. But, the subject matter is not limited to those holding or running for political office as testified by an e-mail yesterday that accused the United Kingdom of banning the teaching of the Holocaust in its schools. A simple check with snopes.com (or any other internet site committed to discovering the truths behind urban legends) would have quickly given the sender enough information to prove that this particular e-mail was not accurate. The first clue should have been the subject line which read, “I hope that this isn’t true …” It would have taken the sender less time to discover the truth behind the message than it did for him to send it.
Some times the message is a good one such as a recent prayer for our nation. But along the way somebody felt that the prayer would have more appeal if it was attributed to Billy Graham or Paul Harvey or a few other noted individuals. With the internet we can add or delete any information we want without having to take credit for it. The bottom line is that this is simply wrong.
My approach is usually to check out the facts of any message and share what I have found with the sender. The other approach that I have taken is that if “those” kind of tainted e-mails continue I share my witness of not desiring to bear false witness against another and request that they honor my wishes and not forward any more e-mails of that kind. I want to stay in contact with my friends and family, but I have no desire to read the latest internet gossip.
As one relative, who continues to send me political urban legends even after I have made numerous requests for him not to send any more, stated that he is going to continue sending them – even when I told him that his e-mail address has been tagged so that his stuff goes directly to the delete files – until “I see the light of my errors in my political thinking.” (Check my May 1, 2010 blog titled: “Is Liberal a Vulgar Word?”)
We can begin to hind behind the ease with which e-mails can be created, sent and believed thus resulting in an overall fear creating a modern day witch hunt that will make Salem look like a walk in the park. Just look at the hysteria surrounding the issues raised by the so called “birthers” who do not believe that President Obama was born in the United States. This hysteria is being fueled by e-mails that simple have taken on a life of their own. We live in a free country and thus, everyone has the privilege to believe whatever they wish to believe, but at what point do we stand-up and say, “No more! Stop the madness which is creating the fear that some enemy is poised at our borders ready to destroy us tomorrow.”
We can chose to live in fear or we can chose to live in hope. The choice is ours. Either God is in charge or he isn’t. While I do not want to be naïve, on the other hand I do not wish to live in fear … because if I have to live in fear than what ever enemy might be out there has already won. How many surrenders have taken place in the heat of battle because the soldiers and those in charge were over taken by fear?
Maybe the time has arrived for us to request only personal information be sent via e-mail. No more forwarded message – regardless how cute, clever, inspiring, meaningful the e-mail might be. I joined facebook to stay connected with my family and friends, not to build a “family tree” or play “Farmville” or rate somebody or something or to express my opinion on a political issue via a “yes” or “no” …
What do you think? Do you pass on the majority of the e-mails that you receive? Do you take the time to investigate via snopes.com to see if the facts are correct? Do you even care, especially when the e-mail enforces or supports your political and/or cultural bias? What part does personal integrity play in this whole concept?
Quote for today: So live that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip. Will Rogers.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Respect
Dr. Richard V. Moore, who was president of Bethune Cookman College, Daytona Beach, FL, liked to tell the story of the day he was walking home from his office. Dr. Moore always carried peppermint candy in his coat pocket, so he reached in, took out his last one for the day and began to unwrap it when he was approached by one of the neighborhood children. The young lad asked if he could have some of the candy. Dr. Moore broke his last piece in half, put one half in his mouth and offered the other half to the little boy. As the lad took the piece, Dr. Moore, always the teacher, asked, “Son, what do you say?” Expecting a “Thank you” was surprised when the boy said, “Do you have some more?” Manners are an interesting matter – especially when you are trying to teach a young person.
I’ve been reading a series of books that Margaret had laying around … after all there is just so much TV anyone can consume and since I was instructed to stay off my mending ankle as much as possible reading becomes the other popular choice. Therefore, with my left foot propped up higher than my heart, I read. The series is by Lynn and Gilbert Morris – Lynn does the research and Gilbert does the writing. They depict life in 1865 and beyond in America.
What I find kind of interesting are the manners and etiquette during those years. Everyone is addressed with a Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Dr., but never by their first name unless they were family or very close friends. Further, first names were seldom used in “mixed” company – mixed meaning friends and people from the general population. It was a very formal and extremely polite time in our country.
Some other customs that I have found interesting is that everyone dressed up for dinner – coat, tie, white gloves … the works – every evening. There were at least six changes of clothes during the day for women of middle income and higher. There was a morning dress for breakfast and then a change to a day dress, etc. throughout the day until a woman would finally change for the last time for the evening meal.
Would I desire for us to return to this formal society of yesteryear? Not really – at least not in total, but there is something about that day which is kind of attractive. In one of my churches we had to deal directly with a couple of mothers who encourage our daughters to call them by their first names and in turn their daughters would call us by our first name. Call us old fashion, but we just never got comfortable with that practice – much to the discomfort of their mothers. I felt, and still do, that showing respect for adults is important thus the use of a title such as Rev. or Mrs. with our first name would be more appropriate than just calling out our names. After a year we finally got across the point of respect, but it was a battle of sorts or should I share, more of test of wills.
An example from those days and the role that respect can and does play in relationships between children/youth and adults was that Margaret could ask any of the youth to do anything and they would quickly respond with, “Yes, ma’am.” and then go do it. While these other adults would ask and get a little lip along with complaints as to why they couldn’t do it right now. Interesting … was it respect or the fact that she was my wife … probably a little of both.
As to the custom of dress … a little of the old fashion manners would be welcomed especially with the “gangsta” style of wearing pants where half of their underwear shows or going everywhere without even a T-shirt on. Plus, I’ve not gotten use to some of the attire which shows up at weddings and funerals – cut-offs, flip-flops, halter tops – to mention just three “styles” witnessed during my last five years of ministry. I even had a best man show up in dirty tennis shoes because the dress shoes, which the groom had rented with the tux, were just too uncomfortable. Go figure.
Times do change along with style and custom. Some we like. Some we do not. Maybe it is just me, but when a person respects himself or herself then they show respect to others in varied ways. How to pass this respect on to others is the real challenge, especially when society, as a whole, is comfortable with the “anything goes” mind-set.
Marathon Senior High School installed, thanks to the student body, a rather strict dress code the last year I served the Big Pine Key church. Previously, they had an “anything goes” mind-set, but when girls started showing up in revealing bikinis and drugs began to show up on campus in large amounts the student council felt that something had to change. The first that the dress code was in place the attitude and academic performance of the students changed dramatically. Evidently there is a correlation between dress, respect and behavior. By-the-way, it began with the senior high boys, but by the end of that school year all the boys were wearing shirts and ties to school. As one of the church’s teenagers shared, “When you dress up you feel different. You actually start liking yourself and you are going to start to respect others.”
What do you think? How do you handle the general disrespect found in today’s society? If you had the authority and the power what would you change and how would you change it? How do you show respect for those around you?
Quote for today: Abraham Koramn found that individuals who are told they are incompetent to achieve a certain goal or do a certain task even though they had no pervious experience with the task, will perform worse than those who are told they are competent to achieve the goals and do the task. Bernard Rosenbaum
I’ve been reading a series of books that Margaret had laying around … after all there is just so much TV anyone can consume and since I was instructed to stay off my mending ankle as much as possible reading becomes the other popular choice. Therefore, with my left foot propped up higher than my heart, I read. The series is by Lynn and Gilbert Morris – Lynn does the research and Gilbert does the writing. They depict life in 1865 and beyond in America.
What I find kind of interesting are the manners and etiquette during those years. Everyone is addressed with a Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Dr., but never by their first name unless they were family or very close friends. Further, first names were seldom used in “mixed” company – mixed meaning friends and people from the general population. It was a very formal and extremely polite time in our country.
Some other customs that I have found interesting is that everyone dressed up for dinner – coat, tie, white gloves … the works – every evening. There were at least six changes of clothes during the day for women of middle income and higher. There was a morning dress for breakfast and then a change to a day dress, etc. throughout the day until a woman would finally change for the last time for the evening meal.
Would I desire for us to return to this formal society of yesteryear? Not really – at least not in total, but there is something about that day which is kind of attractive. In one of my churches we had to deal directly with a couple of mothers who encourage our daughters to call them by their first names and in turn their daughters would call us by our first name. Call us old fashion, but we just never got comfortable with that practice – much to the discomfort of their mothers. I felt, and still do, that showing respect for adults is important thus the use of a title such as Rev. or Mrs. with our first name would be more appropriate than just calling out our names. After a year we finally got across the point of respect, but it was a battle of sorts or should I share, more of test of wills.
An example from those days and the role that respect can and does play in relationships between children/youth and adults was that Margaret could ask any of the youth to do anything and they would quickly respond with, “Yes, ma’am.” and then go do it. While these other adults would ask and get a little lip along with complaints as to why they couldn’t do it right now. Interesting … was it respect or the fact that she was my wife … probably a little of both.
As to the custom of dress … a little of the old fashion manners would be welcomed especially with the “gangsta” style of wearing pants where half of their underwear shows or going everywhere without even a T-shirt on. Plus, I’ve not gotten use to some of the attire which shows up at weddings and funerals – cut-offs, flip-flops, halter tops – to mention just three “styles” witnessed during my last five years of ministry. I even had a best man show up in dirty tennis shoes because the dress shoes, which the groom had rented with the tux, were just too uncomfortable. Go figure.
Times do change along with style and custom. Some we like. Some we do not. Maybe it is just me, but when a person respects himself or herself then they show respect to others in varied ways. How to pass this respect on to others is the real challenge, especially when society, as a whole, is comfortable with the “anything goes” mind-set.
Marathon Senior High School installed, thanks to the student body, a rather strict dress code the last year I served the Big Pine Key church. Previously, they had an “anything goes” mind-set, but when girls started showing up in revealing bikinis and drugs began to show up on campus in large amounts the student council felt that something had to change. The first that the dress code was in place the attitude and academic performance of the students changed dramatically. Evidently there is a correlation between dress, respect and behavior. By-the-way, it began with the senior high boys, but by the end of that school year all the boys were wearing shirts and ties to school. As one of the church’s teenagers shared, “When you dress up you feel different. You actually start liking yourself and you are going to start to respect others.”
What do you think? How do you handle the general disrespect found in today’s society? If you had the authority and the power what would you change and how would you change it? How do you show respect for those around you?
Quote for today: Abraham Koramn found that individuals who are told they are incompetent to achieve a certain goal or do a certain task even though they had no pervious experience with the task, will perform worse than those who are told they are competent to achieve the goals and do the task. Bernard Rosenbaum
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